Archive for April, 2011|Monthly archive page

god im in LA!

In Uncategorized on 04/19/2011 at 12:55 PM

this here is about the film “Finding God in the City of Angels” that i watched in my religion class and these are my thoughts on it’s contents.

Some noteworthy notes i took during the film:

“Tupac is the sacred texts of the hip hop generation, our racial struggle is the sacred texts”,

“Originally called ‘Town village of our Queen, Lady of the Angels’, imperialist beginnings taken over by diversity”,

“The native americans close their eyes and see mountains ‘the land is our sacred texts’, their oneness with the earth contrasts what I see when I close my eyes, the inside of my eyelids: myself.”

“On skid row, you’re humiliated but you have to believe you aren’t there for nothing, god brought me there for a purpose.”

“the foolishness of my friends who claim they intend to try everything, imagine shooting up in your home: a tent on Los angeles street”

“fundamentalists are so convicted, yet in a sense they are late bloomers, began in 1908 at Biola.”

“one lady said god weeps, but just because you weep, does that mean god weeps?”

“mysticism seems to suggest the ambiguous concept of oneness with god, which doesn’t really say much except force one to take a step back from one’s understanding of oneself and to detach from our normal forces. but does not most religion do that? it’s not saying much.”

“i love the poetry of rumi, i drink rumi like gin. he is so old yet still speaks. it is all because of mewithoutyou that i discovered his poetry. and its a sufi sacred text, i never knew that”

“whirling is how they die to themselves. interesting how all of religion is morbid, as if death gives the joy some sort of legitimacy”

“take religious texts to seriously to take it literally, interesting conscious qualification of humans tendency to create doctrine that is responsive to environment instead of respecting the mysterious transcendence of the text. the different interpretations of the bible.”

“i’ve never heard of the hugging saint, but she seems gross to hug. which is probably just showing my own foolishness”

“i like hinduism because you could probably be a leader while being illiterate, while other religions view scholarism as an ideal.”

“baha’i is a good example of this, no ministers? just text, so easy to pervert that.”

“i wonder why mythology is just that, myth. while these other religions are just as mythical but still vibrant”

“why do religions find respect out of capitalizing their spiritual leader?”

“agape is a christian term of greek origin, interesting that it is it’s own religion now. christianity is very influential”

“the southern indian dancing is oddly beautiful”

these are just notes i found to be insightful besides the drone of fact-recording. I believe, this was actually the purpose of the film. following the viewing, most of the people in my class complained that it lacked any depth or substance. however, i do not believe the purpose was informative but contemplative. each religion was given a very superficial look except for the judeo-christian sects. christianity especially was extensively surveyed compared to the few minutes of glossing over hare krishna, jains, sikhs, etc.

for one, i believe the filmmakers knew their audience already knew the basic outline of christianity and that it is the majority religion with many more thriving sects than the other religions. however, i believe the filmmakers were not attempting to make a piece that may be showed on history channel. instead, the piece may be much more appropriate for MTV perhaps as the work was contemplative. the segments of odd metallic music or monk’s chanting made the tone of the piece meditative so that we were inspired to wonder about the religion more and not assume that the religions all exist on a unified front.

the film did not report statistics or attempt to divide LA up into distinct segments of religions to suggest the fluidity of followers. one man who had converted from presbyterian to hare krishna was focused on because his account was definitive of the film. hare krishna seemed at first to be some weirdo cult, but he discovered it was perfect for his lifestyle and more fulfilling than the hard pews of his old church. the film revealed not only that religion is often cultural, but in the melting pot of a city like Los Angeles, these borders are broken down and religions mixed by the interaction of different people.

in that way, it literally was about the act of “Finding God”, and not “Reporting Religion” in Los Angeles. it physically displayed peoples attempts at finding god in their interaction and attitudes toward their ceremonies and sacred texts. the film required the viewer to interact with the religion and encounter it, instead of know the facts of the religion. i feel in conversation concerning the religion, the individual with a broader base of knowledge concerning other religions may be seen as having a broader understanding. as a result, the viewers in my class were dissatisfied with the failure to analyze the relgions, for they did not seek to understand religion, but to know religion.

the filmmakers definitely knew the religion. they knew the contours of these religions well enough to highlight the important aspects of their culture. instead of presenting the minute differences, they provided the broad unifications that ran deep in each religion. this is also evident in their choice to ignore scientology perhaps viewing it as lacking the honest attempt at finding god that other religions displayed. Personally, having been a citizen more or less of LA for most of my life, definitely southern california for my lifespan, it piqued my interest and made me want to experience the wide variety of cultures that built up LA. Now, in my car i wonder who I am cussing at, perhaps i am cussing out the hugging saint, racing on her way to hug the world into happiness. or that man going in front of me is some homeless man who had found the light of god and was inhibited by his former drug addiction. or perhaps that slow biker is a jain just trying to dodge every bug on the ground.

my only complaint about the film was that did not describe how these religions affected los angeles and each other. that would have been a very insightful aspect of the film instead of presenting them as separate peaceful communities. Also, i believe coming from a fundamentalist background that expects a unified doctrine, it took a conscious effort to walk in the shoes of the follower of that religion. especially because my cynical view on religion as a cultural provision. I recall being taught that creativity cannot be planned; say anything, write anything, do anything and that is some form of creation. whether or not it is interesting or signficant can be determined. but with religion, i feel that the significance is a result of strength in numbers. the importance of religion is not how effectively approaches the problems of our existence but the fact that many people believe it. as a result, art and culture is closer to religion than is science or math. thus, raised in a largely godless society where actions are individualistic even within the religion, respect for tradition whithers and the only thing that is left is this half-assed calvinistic work-ethic that finds value in experimentation if there is profit involved. i find my spiritual substinence in rock-music with valuable lyrics and excellent instrumentation. yet, even i participate in the double-think that i accuse many religions of encouraging. i am not truly seeking self-profit though that may be a defining thought when faced with a fork in the road. in reality, i am making the religion of myself as i respond to my environment largely through the channels offered to me by institutions largely controlled by corporations.

my god is coke, mcdonalds, and facebook, with sacred texts being the classic books from “leaves of grass” to the bible to “harry potter” and the folklore of george washington and his cherry tree. this religion of cultural relativism is ironic because it diminishes the relevance of any religion for the sheer fact that it attempts to elevate itself apart from it’s culture by calling itself a religion. yet in my daily actions, i follow the religious prayer as i hope for the elevator to bring me safely and quickly so i can find the salvation in a degree and middle class job. the afterlife is my future, and thus when i contemplate my future, i am contemplating my afterlife. religions seem to concern themselves with the afterlife, but in reality, no one acts with direct ideas of the afterlife. if we regard the existence of a positive afterlife, we find that obtaining that to be directly linked to success on earth as your religion defines it.

religions would like to think the atheists and agnostics see no hope for the afterlife and therefore grab as much as they can on earth. however, how does that explain power hungry sultans, caliphates, kings, and popes? success is a human trait that we define for ourselves and when one enlists to a religion, that is the action of setting in stone their concept of the afterlife. doubts will possibly lead to uprooting and the changing of an afterlife. but existential questions of success and purpose are directly linked to our understanding of the afterlife and in that sense, the afterlife is hardly acknowledged by anyone in daily life. it is merely a concept that we assign as a reason for what we are doing.

the jain will respect all life because of his notion of reincarnation. the christian will sacrifice themselves so they may be called a servant of god in heaven. and the atheist will grab as much he can because he knows he will probably become dust pretty soon.

that is my other complaint with the film, it disregarded any attempt at considering the importance of atheism/agnosticism in it’s overview. this is my opinion, but as a result, left out the most important part of los angeles which is a modern culture with postmodern tendencies. in every one of these religions there is a certain aspect of atheism in the involvement of choice within the religion. the element of choice in society abolishes the pure cultural roots that religion had in a pre-modern society where your religion was determined from birth. religion was never about finding god, but respecting what others had found, or simply what was true. the concept of religion is only possible through choice. it is a section on the census, “what is your religion?” and “what is your race?”, but say perhaps in Persia if they took a census, the question would be “are you orthodox or muslim” with no question involving race.

that is the underlying “double think” to reuse orwells term, that modernism forces individuals into. certainly in the backwoods of mississippi someone may not actually engage in double think, but somewhere like Los Angeles, even the most devout Fundamentalist Christian still sees their religion as an individual choice. take the phenomena of televangelists. these people specifically and consciously address the issue of success and the afterlife and tie them both together in a comprehensive view that answers nearly everyone’s questions all the way down to what sort of food they should eat that pleases god and keeps them healthy. Christianity is popular because it was here first, but it has responded to the changes of modernity and created an entire culture that permeates every aspect of life with a doctrinal explanation for why a certain choice is correct.

this goal of success that is ingrained into christian culture but not into the christian bible is an example of how secularism has affected the religion which is largely a result of atheism. the film “finding god in los angeles” did not expand the definition of “god” to see how it is largely linked to success in our day and age and as a result it colored the film as superficial in that sense.

i acknowledge my own analyzation to be superficial and partially uninformed because i fail to fully grasp religion itself. i will clarify i do not hope for the death of religion as some atheists might. in fact, i have found myself metaphorically on my knees before god because of my own inability cope. but i do know that i believe against the view religions often take of themselves as relevant. religion is not relevant because of what it says, but because of how many people say it. quantity does not enforce the truth of something, though human nature sides with quantity.

if anything, i would claim to follow the religion of Daniel Tosh: when you walk down the street at night and you get nervous as you see a hooded black man walking towards you, that is not racism. that is merely your reaction to a cultural stereotype. in addition, the 2008 election is not remarkable because a black man is leader of the free world. no one cares that he is black. it is remarkable that no one said “John McCain is a racist” for running against a black man. and of course no one would expect anyone to say that because it is foolish. he is just trying to get his success. and that is the expectation nowadays, though people may still be racist and act on that. the general conception is that few people live for the support of stereotypes. daniel tosh and other comedians remind us that we stereotype people and it is not wrong as long as you do not act on an impulse, or even have an impulse to believe in the truth of the stereotype. people may be offended, but you are not offending them, they are just offended at the fact that the stereotype was brought up. it is the same thing as making a joke about the holocaust. injustice is not a joking matter, but it doesnt mean you can’t joke about it. we must learn to cope with reality instead of clinging to lines that divide us because these lines are the things that make the drawing of the world we live in today. which looks to be a lot like this

if you are offended, don’t assume that i am offending you. injustice is not as simple as you assume as is proved by the massive amounts of liturgy, litigation, and literature that deals with this issue of “finding god”, at least be grateful that you live in a world where you are allowed to “find god”.


sincerest apologies for the format: transference obscures original structure

In Uncategorized on 04/18/2011 at 12:31 AM

im thinkin about the idea. try to
identify that thing called idea. frank chimero was pretty close i guess. the
human brain makes alogical connections. how?

does something that computers are on the verge of,
multiple different formats.

do we think in?

of the senses.

really, the songs, the clips of songs, the memories of the songs, the images
during the song, but not even that. its not even like a spectrum but like some
haze that you find because it is you.
can you find certain ideas? because they are a part of you. they are why the
learned person may be more apt at connecting things than the factory worker.
their world is richer and more stacked. and experience is not just knowledge.

is why poetry is so important.

bright not shady. lil wayne. da fuck you mean? but you know exactly what that

dont know why i wrote this to myself in my phone:
colbert. god generation. elevated beyond humans”
guess because we can learn and create. take this for instance.

i wrote: “arabian nights. torture scene fails bc they are unable bc he is so
good at haggling and creepy prayers”

i think of this:
that reminds me of the kanye album i’m listening that starts off with this song
good morning, just as sayid started of hitting sawyer.

think people are overly excited by people who have plenty of cultural
references. it just means they are kinda nerdy. because it’s just how we think,
our experiences. those kinda people have merely let their guard down so their
mind is filled with all experience, instead of selecting only that which appeals
to their taste because they know that taste is controllable and they find profit
in knowing culture.

future of sustainability and such. i mean we already kinda have air taxes. we
pay for clean air in gov. crazy.

bag” after that i have the idea of creating a mini bag that is like a super bag.
ya know those dumb things they pass out at concerts or whatever. if you made
those a little more like actual back packs with zippers. sounds to me like the
flip vid compared to normal vid cams. then i thought of advertising. a baguette
maker likes it, grocery bagger likes it, condom factory guy likes it. haha.

wont need many mini bags.

i really want is a thought bag. its not really possible. but there is such as
reference and writing and such. i guess that’s the beauty of blogs and the
internet. it expands thinking. actually that is all i care about.

this irony where the only thing that is real is the universal connections we
have. where i dont hate anyone. but then the only thing that is real is that
thing that makes you unique.
with reality on both sides, i guess the center of those two is living the
the center is balance, right?

weird combination of our linear world and the spherical earth that we live

is all pretty simple.

have been calling me crazy recently. it doesn’t really phase me, the only thing
i am worried about is that this is all really real.
actually don’t give a shit about being crazy. i have accepted that people
dislike certain methods of mind, they are all to busy with sex and

will talk to anyone who will talk to me.

David Burkes Connections he mentioned that the only people who defied
conventions are criminals.

i am fascinated by things.

that time when you perceived your own perception and how beautiful it was. when
some vibration right in your face sounded off in the distance? you read the
shift of a speeding car? you see that little worm world on the top of your eye
while lying in the grass?

miracle. why is it miracle? because we try and make a world we can hold on to,
and when we are reminded we cannot make sense of it all, we have no choice but
to praise “miracle”

you can’t claim miracles for god. why not? not just because i say
because that miracle is beautiful by itself. god did not make it beautiful. sure
he may have made the world beautiful and called it a miracle. but that doesn’t
mean it is evidence of god. miracle is evidence of itself and reason for
thankfulness, despite the mystery of it all.

im happy with the mystery and im certain that i feel every time you sing to me
these songs you say life is like a song its a song a humble

just afraid im not right or something. that is my real fear.

know what i want now. i want to make positive movies. the good in reality so its
real good. and displaying the imagination it takes to make that.

had an idea for a movie. and its kinda based off of carter. if he started a
cult, i may join. just might. and when he dies in the end. i want you to feel
that pain of love. in between you can feel the pain of life. but the pain of
love, that is truly elevation.

considered for a time electrical engineering, i considered plenty of similar
surrounders. but i cant do that to myself. i cant pull the rug out from under my
feet just because i like the idea of hardwood. cause i’ll probably find that the
dirt and grime of the rug was much better than the splinters of

i have a low pain tolerance. and i cant dance.

there is this thing i want and i dont know what it is.

want to understand what retards see. more than anything that interests me. who
are they? what are they?

man? polymath? genius? maybe that is that undisclosed desire. i dont want the
middle class, though i value it to an extent, i want that assumption that i’m
allowed to be an ass to be confirmed.
dont wanna be mean or anything. just, have money to create that

the center of the world.

center of the world is whereever we say it is.

i say its my house.

giant globe that is regulated by lines. like our world. kinda like neverland, or

piece of this theme park will be themed, down to the goddam bush. and kublai
khan will sit atop this park with an answer to the reason for everything in the
park. down to the type of asphalt used. or why we didn’t use asphalt.

i will die with my favorite flower on my lips and someone else will take over
the family business of bs.

know i am not a genius or anything like that. but no one is truly deserving you
know. you know that. you can’t say i dont deserve mobility.

i learned something today on taylor swifts video. she had a freeness about her,
that i think some people might envy. but i don’t really care about posture. i am
talking about posterity here bitches.

like a freedom about me. like a kingdom, but freedom. yes i support anarchy. but
i also want some asshole on my ass at all times.

one at one time, except for me, i think, thought: “everything i am doing, is
building the name of taylor swift. every arm stroke is like i am just blowing on
the ink of her signature on people checkbooks and memories as they die on their

i’ll remember matthew thiessen for showing me that effort is

i’ll really thank chris martin for showing me that success is like fucking

sick of cool things, and what i like. all i know is that we are altogether
alone. so when you spend your money it should be on everybody else. because you
will die one day, and everyone around you will owe you more and more the more
and more you give them.

go of everything you cling to. because we are altogether alone.

the published product. its the inciting desire in people. its the combination of
the superficial of the popular with the truth of the populace. so they remember
that everyone else but them is a liar.

am not crushed by all of these madness.

dont give a fuck about what i like. remember when no one read this because it
was too long, didn’t mean anything of relevance, and was just a little
remember it when i do it.

it is.

is pretty good. but someday i will be living in a big ol city. or something
romantic like that.

why do my loins ebb and flow to the feelings of inspiration and the insecurity
of failure?

“its the warmth when youre next to me, its the white bright
light of the fever dream, its the storm in your eyes in the looks of the free,
the underestimated powers of the forces of the unseen.”

for all those that have loved me. that is actually the only reason. the
non-haters. it doesn’t matter that there is anything wrong with me. because i
have plenty of faults.

point is that my childhood, those times pissing in the street will not fade
away. “believe in the strength that will raise the dead”

other day, i was shaking and then i felt the wash of love that i knew my friends
and family had for me. it was all i really cared about really. reminded me of
that beautiful love dream.

know i am onto something. i know i break the cycle of the typical.

that mundame nun dame

but not least. i think that women deserve a certain focus of my mind. they are
underrepresented in media.

famous in my own mind and we are taught not to want to be famous. but i dont
care, i know that every human is worth it and i will put the spotlight on
everyone but myself in an attempt to let everyone spot the light in

the forces of the unseen are inside me.

Theism is anti-antitheism; my thesis: anti-the antithesis is the thesis.

In Uncategorized on 04/05/2011 at 9:19 PM

well i agree with that. that it’s a non-sequitur between [no god] – [no purpose]. certain religions may claim “god gave us purpose” DNE “god is source of purpose”

my problem is the simplicity of morality i guess.

you purport purpose to be something that actually exists.

but what does ‘meaning mean’?

you may explain your purpose and such, but in reality it’s just some idea that arches over and lightly touches on the nature of existence.

explanation. atheist may say purpose in life is whatever you make it.

well, that’s an observation: your life=whatever you do. [oh well no, it means that you choose your actions based on what you want] but that’s stupid. it’s just an observation.

well, lets look at christianity since that’s all that is here in this debate (that i really like btw, william lane craig is real smart [tho christopher hitchens kinda blows him outa the water])

to glorify god and enjoy his goodliness or whatever he said. well okay you say that you are supposed to do good. isn’t that what good is: the thing you are supposed to do? and enjoy his goodliness (combining godliness and goodness for shorthand, though it took longer to explain that..) haha that doesn’t mean anything either! to enjoy the good things in life, are those things that are enjoyable.

deconstruction: enjoy his goodliness must point to joy. well what is joy? remembering him amidst suffering, it doesn’t mean not to suffer or not to anguish. but it means not to curse god amidst it all. still love him. serve him. glorify him. [see above]

so that’s not saying much either. just live your life with the purpose of glorifying him.

true, religion gives you tasks, but is not life complex as the bible concedes and the body of christ needs eyes, ears and a dick? your ‘purpose’ means very little. for instance, that purpose could never accurately (in my opinion) explain blowing up an abortion clinic or starting a clinic to help pregnant women. those are all cultural responses

and that asshole christopher hitchens is one and the same, his “antitheism” is a nit picky version of atheism. atheists: normal. antitheists: angry. it doesn’t mean anything to say that religion is the largest source of hatred. no… that is reifying the religion itself.

religion is the largest justification for hatred. but has every act of hatred justified by religion agreed with the tenants itself? no, of course not. therefore, that hatred is merely irrational. no one who wants to kill someone based on religion doesn’t wanna kill them before the religion “prompted” them to do so.

sure maybe the dudes in the plane were kinda freaked out before they slammed headlong into a building. but they were never like, this is wrong, oh wait religion says it’s right so i wanna do it.

man likes to kill and hate. what can i say? i have nothing against people driving cars, unless i’m driving cars and they are in the way. if you removed all the religion? people may be less hating in a certain sense, but i think factions and fascists wouldn’t stop.

true, religion in some ways causes people to do stupid and crazy things. but so does tv, and alcohol you drunk christopher hitchens you.

you’re just as religious as them, because you hate them, and can’t understand that the enlightenment only existed after the fact, never during it. people weren’t like, i’m sick of this, REVELUTION!! Che revolted because of the human oppression, but there isn’t enough human oppression here with religion so man will not revolt as you expect them. if all religion did prompt full scale war then maybe you are right. but if religion also promotes love, is it not a contradiction to define religion as the source?

especially if man is the source of religion?

religion is not wrong, but nor is man.

to whoever reads this: you are not a believer of what you say you believe. why do you say what you believe? because someone asked you what you believe. but when it comes down to it, you are not a person who acts according to this purpose. you live in channels and act on a spectrum. you are a bumbling mess of existence, not simply matter and not servants of god.

if god is goodness then yes we should serve god. but there is this uncategorized portion of life that is not explained because it has no explanation. it is the random absurdity that cannot be explained by any purpose, or the beliefs that purpose it derives from.

all of these metaphors for life are stories you saw in forest gump. which ironically, is probably one of the best ones, even though it says nothing. “ya never know what you’re gonna get”? that’s only profound because of human arrogance and insecurity about the future.

antitheism isn’t a belief, it’s just a response.

purpose, belief, that isn’t belief in the sense that you are clinging to some objective truth or that you are committing yourself to something greater than yourself. it’s just a reminder “don’t fuck up”. nothing is novel, skills are outside the source of morality because they are the only non-obvious thing. notice how you can’t major in “life” or “morality”, because it’s obvious.

imagine if you were merely locked up inside a room and taught without interaction to think and study and such. i’ve dreamt such an idea is real. but just as wlc thinks that claiming the absurdity of infinity is a good way to prove god (terrible portion of cosmological argument). life then is merely concepts and that room is The Room outside of the universe understanding the universe.

it’s impossible bc the world you know is human. and humans like to do a lotta things. one of them is speculate, and astrophysics is speculation. it’s literally just looking around and taking guesses. but if the big bang is a fact: the big bang seems to me like it doesn’t prove or disprove anything. if anything, the big bang proves everything in a way where TRUTH is not something that convicts a victim or convicts a victim of the state (bahaha)

that conviction of the truth is disbelief suspended, not holding onto any belief. i have no religious belief. but i have belief in many other things about this life. and religious belief does the exact same thing, but with a religious touch to it (or atheism), it provides general beliefs about life that sustain us in our times of doubt.

i have plenty of disbelief suspended, but i don’t think religion makes any sense as absolute truth or that absolute truth makes any sense.

the way imagine for some reason looks like a peacock. it’s not cultural relativism because the truth of the religion or ridge or what ever it is will make sense based off a variety of influences all leading me to say that i am never “right”, or that i always have opinions/beliefs/understandings of them.

that ridge must be there. but it also must not be there. so it’s kinda there. everything is there, but not really.

the creator is kinda like this thing that exists because the universe had to come from something. i still think that everyone claiming to reject or accept or stay neutral about theism is kinda foolish because the arguments are convincing, but maybe it’s only cultural and i mean really, you could non-sequitur every claim it must be false or there is no way its real.

in the end, you’re still lying on your bed wishing you could sleep. in the end, you still gotta sleep and wake up and say yes or no. what does this stupid blog do for me?

the only thing it does for me is communicate with myself and help me understand myself and my hesitations and my balls. to me, this is my effort to be a poet because poetry is about affection without preaching. you can say your point but there are so many ways to communicate meaning besides linear sentences. this blog is just like that fortune cookie i just read: “a message from a distance is coming”.

yeah, it’s every time i remember those profound things i said in this blog and every time that i had to counter myself and my emotions in my head and let my emotions run rampant in my blood to write whatever i wrote. it’s telling me that you are a thinking human being, even if the conclusions aren’t publishable or even conclusive, that’s still conclusive. and it’s me talking to myself as they exist in my friends as relationships, if ya know what i mean.

how far am i from you? miles? a fb message? the muscles needed for a hug? the closeness of being likeminded, or on the other hand, the distance when we disagree? nothing when we are buried and become stratified? different humans? race? a categorization in the US census? a type of person?

are we the same because we are male but different because we’re not both irish? you are not unique, you exist and we may classify things but in reality you still exist and every single second wasn’t the second before. but that’s still a classification! are we really limited to these 4 dimensions? is dejavu like the 8th dimension or something? well of course it is. we can’t only exist on one single plane as religion might suggest, or anyone might suggest. what is a dimension anyways? it’s just our minds categorization. the fluidity of the universe is astounding. the fact that we were all some unknown matter/energy balled up together and birthed out of itself. but the classifactions and classifications are amazing too (another fortunate mispell). we are all the matter of neuron-stars that created carbon of immense heats. but what about dark matter? how can we be sure of anything when there exist mysteries like dark matter and miracles like love for an ugly child and mysteries like miracles? well all we do nowadays is cry the mysteries are terrible non-miracles. but the mysteries are the only thing i can “believe” in. the limits of the mind to only operate by chemistry as a non-spiritual portion of the brain and the magic of the mind to overpower the laws of the body.

how do we classify ourselves, by our differences, not our beliefs. how do we differentiate, our beliefs. and these beliefs are just differentiations between different beliefs. but the beliefs are all birthed out of the same humanity being human. so what do i have to believe but a [?]

not much i guess.

i will end with this song:

i am not staunch because im staunch or because i believe it’s good. it’s plenty of things that make that part of me. but a super hot drunk dtf chick, well she didn’t get this song. so i’ll offer my explanation.

Cynism and silliness are pretty similar. And when you think you’ve found someone who may match your tone, you may discover this is not true but only your own feelings getting played out and embodied in someone. Just because she isn’t highly intelligent, does that mean she has no ability to fulfill you? Well, only you can fulfill you when you have that expectation of love to be some sort of person on the same line as you. Hello? Snowflakes? We’re all on our own little islands that may or may not intersect. He is crying of his loneliness, and I do this on occasion too. I could make this song about a lot of people actually because it speaks to fulfillment on this modern outlook of life. This New Religion song sings my new religion pretty well. And this video is necessary to watch to understand it, along with at least 3 reads of the lyrics. Just my discovery. Nate Reuss is pretty intelligent btw. He mixes his life and everyone’s common commentary on culture with relationships and religion showing how these are aspects of ourselves and helping me see that love isn’t some sort of magical coincidence yet it is. It just wont be what you expect it to be.

Life’s a box of chocolates. And I am wasting life just as much as any of you are. Don’t be hatin religion Modest Mouse!

but yeah i probably shoulda fucked her. she was hot. haha oh well.

the stupid struggle against stupidity.

In Uncategorized on 04/03/2011 at 2:11 AM

it’s so ironic that i fall down just to get right back up again:

this blog is really definitive of me i guess. i said i didn’t know what it was about in the beginning and i still dont. but i am thinking about art more. i watched blues brothers tonight. 20 years ago that film was great.

so what makes something good ya know? is it possible to track the contours of cool? finding the spine and caressing the curves of that curved spine. finding what was pop about opera. i know the flappers kinda flopped when breasts flopped out.

2 in one, katy perry + throwback (+ flamingo with a nice view.)

i love the top half of her breasts.

well i think it doesn’t matter that much, because katy perry’s breasts are in the way and that’s just the reality of the situation, it’s really not that bad that we cant get past those breasts. if anything, her tits bein it are an opportunity,

the goods can deliver what’s good.

and seriously,  have you ever tried a new food because you honestly wanted to try it? trace that desire to experiment: it’s the basis for discovering meaning and beauty.

babies are always experimenting, we’re the most curious of creatures. then we lose that and we like what we like. that is why we are forced to be educated and cultured because we realize there is more than what there appears to be and that getting the fullness of life also means getting a life that is more full.

humanity is not about pleasure and survival, one can live in such a stupor, it’s not about intelligence. it’s about discovery though. “man’s meant to explore”

but what if we never did explore? that gerber baby would be huge rich.

im sick of being a stickler for having a stick up your butt.

i dont wanna sell anti money any more.

there is nothing wrong that we feel nothing when it’s all gone wrong.

it’s okay that we are never okay when it’s not okay.

when is it not okay? when we gotta stand at attention attending to those who are supposed to be attending to us.

so what am i gonna do?

nothin different. they are still stupid when they don’t get what is smart.

it’s not so easy to say that, cause it’s not so true. but i believe there is something to be had in great movies. it’s this great contradiction that certain films like

where this dude (the crazy long hair guy) who put millions of dollars into one of the worst films of all time. seriously, people have screenings of it all the time. and this dude had that up on a billboard for years. i saw it driving on highland and i thought it was legit. well it is legit in a way. haha i still have yet to burn my eyes with that trash.

or barton fink which took those asshole coen brothers 3 weeks to write. this film is loaded with irony that just goes to show, to know the history and production of the film elevates the film. film is a collaboration that is a response to many people’s desires, passions, insecurities and troubles. a lot like sex. so why not use sex in a film.

this movie is about a play wright (john turturro) who is commissioned by giant holly wood execs to write a b movie about wrestlers that is for some actor to star in. well this movie was written like a b movie for some actor to star in, but coen brothers just have that special ability ya know? the film is loaded with parody that i feel i will appreciate immensely more as i’m immersed into the movie industry.

i went to the zoo today and it was beautiful. i hope that chick doesn’t get the wrong idea. i just see a light in her that i kinda cling too. but not in some clingy way, or a way to lower her ceiling. she’s just a friend. haha and she strokes my ego 😉

and i was actually amazed. it really was magical to watch all these animals. what is a waste of time when you’re the coen brothers and can write barton fink in three weeks? it’s all about doing what is natural for you and what works.

those assholes are just lucky that what fit was uber natural. naturally born with major collaborators. so unfair. all of my twins are stuck inside my head.

seriously, i text myself on a regular basis. i actually really like it.

but those animals were amazing. this world is amazing and i have the opportunity to enjoy it like no one else does. as for now, i’m taking it lax and developing my demeanor. that’s a euphemism for relaxing. but i kept rushing into all of these pursuits as if i had to pursue a pursuit to get into it.

i don’t care about money. even if there is that dragon inside burning up the armor of my face in the audition room (most people have butterflies but my fear is scaly and soars) saying “you’re crazy, you are just like that wise guy wiseau who  made the room when you’re in the room, you’re just in a room in your head thinkin your fung shway is the fuckin way.

still, ima be

because the insides are nasty. they are better when they all collaborate to create something beautiful. like sex into a baby. or a movie. that’s what is so beautiful, so much of film is random, but this tendency to find meaning in things makes it great.

i better get some skills.

but for now may i please explain that song a little for myself?

it’s about honesty. wait i feel like i posted about this already haha.

i dunno, couldn’t find it recently: deal.

honesty. come and speak to me my friend. your friends will show you that maybe all those things you have locked up inside your head: what you thought you were saying isn’t what you really are. your thoughts seem to be thinkin otherwise. and i’m feeling your feelings are likewise. so take your broken pieces use them. you may think they hold you back. use them to protect yourself, they make you unique. and take the rest for living. you gotta live no matter what, otherwise you’re dead.

seeeeee they were given strength and their mistakes made them unique haha.

well, the song just inspires me a lot. as does tosh.

it’s ironic how i fall just to get back up again.

what is that but story? what is story but this stupid struggle. but at least its a struggle against stupidity.

you mean reincarnation and how we all die towards the great orgy in the sky? yeah fuck that. means i could marry my grandma.

and its stupid because we are all saying how stupid it is to think of anything that doesn’t pertain to thinking stupid things are stupid even though it is still stupid to do that.

im talkin about how pointless thinkin about death is because we’re gonna die. especially if you think not thinkin about death is stupid. maybe they thought about death and thought it may be best stopping morbid thoughts.

so it takes balance? fuck that, what the fuck does balance mean?



i love when that lady on facebook said how she didn’t like it because it was gross when they said “worms”. oh man… i proceeded to insert my understanding into her dumb ass.

she still thought it was gross, but she liked the picture of the sunset (not in this version cause this one has lyrics).

so i guess that sunset is katy perry’s breasts and you kinda need that to do anything about anything cause people are stupid.

no point in catering to all those other artists who already agree. might as well go into catering. cause it sure wont pay.

why wont it pay?

probably cause it’s worth very little.

ask jay-z