embarrassingname

JUR: null.

In Uncategorized on 06/09/2011 at 2:12 PM

type in your destination? right after my last final i flocked to this mac to type something out. there is nothing spiritual about this, i just had a triple shot espresso and the music in my head are eggin me on.

specifically this song:

it just talks about partying but it reminds me of “roomful of people” because of the many voices he puts out there and the fact that i thought before it was talking about rage like the pokemon move and not just the partying thing. i’ll rage tonight probably. i raged yesterday, sitting at kinkos for 30 minutes for a resume. getting lost in downtown la. paying 8 bucks for 18 minutes of parking when it coulda been free.

all to be judged by susan the casting director after my last reading she says: “yeah i gotta pretty good idea of who you are now”

fuck that shit.

this helped me realize something.

the greatest word in the english language is DISTILL.

this word describes humanity completely. the process of humanity is that of culture, it is the end result that i have discovered in archaeology. the burials, writing, buildings, warfare, art, it can all be summed up by the word culture. how has culture evolved over the years.

it began simple, with beads, but we be adding more and more beads to this little chain around our neck. they began to take shape. staff god, buddha, crosses, and the list continues. now culture is distilled even further and religion has separated itself from culture. culture will continue to evolve as we physically separate all these representations of the roomful of people in our heads [distillation]

and that is important. distillation is not a chemical reaction, though culture is often very spiritual to us. the reality is that culture is not higher than us. culture is not some absolute thing or spiritual force. alcohol relies on distillation. our bodies may interact with something spiritual, im not saying that we are not spiritual beings. im merely saying that culture is not spiritual. and culture is the process of distillation.

it is a physical process, not a chemical process. for instance, “light chasers” is very spiritual in it’s effects, inspiration, and content. but it is not spiritual in its essence, it is music communicated through MIDI through your headphones (cause no ones playing it on the radio)

when im dist ill remember (dissed I’ll)

we all di still (die still)

that is why we distill (distill)

and we will do dis till (this until)

everyone dis still. (dies still)

 

that is my new religion.

i dont understand the great beyond. but i feel that culture is like an elephant we are pushing up stairs because elephants have an immense memory. we have pushed it up mounds, pyramids, buildings, skyscrapers, clouds, now we are pushing it up on satellites and beyond.

the inca civilization controlled people by building roads. rome controlled people by building roads. the great nations control the waves, planes, freeways.

the new controllers will be those ferrying us across the information highway.

and that is the thing. the casting director will just judge you on the spot. you gotta be ready on the spot. not a spot on your record, you gotta be spot on.

 

nowadays, morals are to me like the days. i go along with them because it is practical. but all tension comes from rules imposed out of order/in the wrong time. and i dont feel bad that i dont feel bad anymore.

 

this is the end of this blog. my jurisdiction is that it is nullified by its non existence in consequence. science, is not real because it has always existed but it never existed before we started to teach it in the classrooms or attributed taxes to NASA. all we had before that was culture, now science is a part of our culture. culture meaning the collective mental activity.

 

when i became a christian for what seems like an eternity ago (because i was a different person then) i just wanted to be recognized. that has not changed, i just changed the frame and focus, i still wanted to be recognized i just changed who i thought deserved recognition.

but i have re:cognized and this has recovered some wrecked cogs in the ignition.

for heavens sake, i sacrificed many opportunities and now i have realized how frivolous my past 4 years have been. the source of this was fear. i am certain of this now.

 

and this blog was fear. these past three years have been fears. i dont know what i want to be, i have an idea, but i dont care how it turns out, the point is that i want to be. even if that is infamous, famous is in infamous and fame is infamy.

 

i write this as a statement to myself? that is the problem, my words will only have effect if i focus and make them effective. i wont change much after this blog. but i will let my hatred for bullshit consume me in a conflagration that can flag every arrogant elation that propels me backwards.

i was looking at my nike frees and on the bottom is the shape of a hand pointing backwards, or at least now pointing what you would think is forwards. inside myself i have been subverting myself. i know i am using the word wrong, but i think it is perfectly representational.

subverting because it is below the surface. vert because it refers to motion. subvert because it has a negative connotation. ing because gerund.

wow that is the first joke i’ve made so far. i am serious.

but getting serious about doing fun stuff.

 

i dont have a very romantic attachment to being a man. a lotta guys do and now a lotta girls do too. those kinda people join the military and the truth is they are just attached to themselves as well and are attaching themselves to something in the process. and it’s called being a man.

 

happiness and health are not in my sights right now. people want me to rage with them but i am busy raging against myself. i now worship culture. not even history. history will leave me as a statistic in the books. i worship the elephant and building upon that culture we push up the stairs. i will continue to find punchlines that arent there: that is the process of distillation.

 

there is an opportunity for what some may call exploration in the dynamic culture of now, and i will take it and that will be my stake in the future. (i refer to my ridiculous ventures, the documentaries, companies, inventions, and other ‘contributions’ which in reality are contributions to myself)

 

this will sound arrogant but i dont care. i am distilling myself from myself and finding the room full of people in my head.

i love myself for all of myself. i am right and people are foolish. i am foolish and people are right. but still, people are foolish. they judge me super superficially. that is my reason for the obsession with the tool. the irony of the phenomena of a tool/bro/whatever you wanna call them is so significant in how it matches the term for themselves: tool.

the goal of life is to like yourself. but people are using a process of doublethink when they think of themselves. by not understanding what causes them to be who they are, they have an inaccurate version of themselves. i know i am a bad person.

all these aspects of myself that i joke about are sick and wrong. and i know it. i use humor to deal with them. my shallowness, my ambition, my arrogance, my sexual perversions.

but i do not hide them from myself anymore. i will continue to hide them from everyone else. but when my faults appear before me, i will no longer try to suppress them. i am not ashamed of them. i will not suppress them and superficially superimpose some loose one-size-fits-all image of something.

whether that is as an american, a christian, a responsible man, a light chaser or anything else.

THAT IS ATMOSPHERE. that is atmosphere. what dont all you understand about this???? this is the stress of atmosphere on the body. this is the oxygen that deteriorates generation after generation. alexander the great, he understood this. he took the gains of philip his father and took his mace donned it worthy of a life and died in battle of rocknroll.

they say he put up 12 shrines dedicated to world conquest. there is nothing wrong with that.

you say he killed many in the process including himself? well guess how they got there, they believed in that atmosphere and said i am a soldier. and he took that and he rose above the atmosphere. he rose so high that he controlled the atmosphere.

 

i like myself. i am not happy with myself. but i like myself enough to pursue myself. and i see no other representation offered by society that is worth my time more than me.

i do not like my happiness. that is a representation offered by society. society says, be healthy, be happy. but that is a double think that stands on the backs of mexican farmers. i dont believe the lie. i put the sigh in society. and society, puts the lie in believe.

i have no anger towards religion for any other reason besides the fact that it held me back. i do not think there is any animosity that all my friends are stuck in some lie because i am too.

but i am breaking free.

and what is the result, it’s that result that religion preys upon.

suits and ties, that dont suit us and tie us down. the emptiness at the bottom of the bottle. all that jazz. as a result, we restrict the jazz within us and call it goodness, love, and all that jazz.

but im jazzin.

you can say that it is sad, but that doesn’t diminish this.

i am glad i found this, it inspires me. think about how childish cloud cult is. a lotta this music is kids music. and that is why i love it. this video is childish apparently. but it is the dark heart of art. all art is cynicism to some extent and that is the moon in mark twains eyes that makes reading him in high school so important.

 

so if you are reading this, and you are judging me, i dont care. but i do feel bad for you, because if you are reading this and judging me, you haven’t understood what i am trying to say and that means i have failed to exist as i’d like to exist.

 

my freshman year of college is over, and my desire for conquest has begun. i am not 3 silly stories up any longer. i am moving out today.

and i am wrapping this up as the album light chasers wraps up on grooveshark. so what song shall i wrap up this blog with? get over it it is over.

all of these things have taught me.

and now it is time for

xtreeme ways

love, me.

dumbly racked under nietzsches knowledge

In Uncategorized on 05/14/2011 at 4:18 AM
is this state where god is dead. but he is also alive and well.
actually it doesnt matter because he isn’t even on my forefront
that odd loneliness that perches upon the top of my brain pecking away at each unblemished spot has been given wings by that rando’s tequila (man that was good shit)
it’s that odd loneliness that makes us scratch our nose because that attractive opposite may just do the opposite of being attracted and get detracted and very similar to how we feel about everyone else.
it’s that odd loneliness that parallels the fighting instinct in our brain chemistry with our arguments over what brain chemistry actually fucking is.
as if our survival could ever rely on what we say about or vitals.
sure god judges everyones heart. but if everything is absolutely and completely personal and relative to their own life: why this need for an arbitrary law?
because it was divinely delivered in the form of some cool documents that we translated. talk about doing something crazy: wikileaks the shit out of all the original religious documents and we shall find that when put in the wiki context, the only reason anyone would ever believe any of this is the sheer numbers.
email someone a doctrine and it does nothing.
indoctrination is not forcing them to learn. it’s forcing them to say yes to what you are saying and then calling it learning.
learning is a fucking accident and luckily education creates channels for those naysayers to live in a van down by the river while us college kids float on to life.
learning is a fucking accident: case in point, the godfather. he is a magical bitch and he didn’t need no education, learning whether or not god gives it to us is not about truth, it is about growth.
you can’t learn truth. that doesn’t even make any sense that implies that the others are living in lies. and who defines truth? the people who found it afterward. truth can only be a matter of preference and then there are rules. but truth and rules do not intermix. rules are ruthless, truth is toothless. all you need is some pliers to “open their eyes” and fill it with some altered light.
that is truth? doubt it. the universe doesn’t make any sense because the only thing that makes sense is that incorrect view that we rely on to live. the facts dont match up with what we know as truth and it doesn’t fucking matter.
because it’s 4 am and the fact or truth is that i should sleep and stop factoring truth in this factory.
this is fact:
this is fact:
this is fact:
this is fact:
this is fact:
and that my friends is truth.

“Truly I tell you, unless you change [my wikipedia article] and become like little children [trolling on wiki articles], you will never enter the kingdom of heaven [in it’s internet-like infinite-ness]

In Uncategorized on 05/07/2011 at 5:14 AM

i thought i liked baha’i, ya know those people who sound middleeastern and sponser the 23 s (but not north) because they are all about only having a text and no human intervention. but i dunno, it’s kinda silly.

baha’i? haha, they say that “humanity” matures. that right there just shows how weak, and strong the ideology is. what the fuck is humanity? if there is one thing i have learned to appreciate in college, it’s shuffle (seriously, just shuffle mewithoutyou, it’s actually as good as each album in a row) but i’ve also learned

society/humanity/”they” is a misnomer.

k well i never realized that i think baha’is are idiots. no, they are ideats.

but i, deats, i kyle, just may actually have some bahai in me. that would be funny because bahaha is the term i use to describe that feeling of something laughable but not really funny.

accidental pun as well as accidental association with my transcendental side. nice.

so what is that title talkin about? is kyle reading the bible? more like creading. crazy reading? close, reading is crazy inherently. it’s a combination of creating and creeds.

let this play while you read the bible.

Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” mt18:3 -> lk 2:22 “When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord.” -> numbers 15:3 “then make an offering by fire to the Lord, a burnt offering or a sacrifice to fulfill a special vow, or as a freewill offering or in your appointed times, to make a soothing aroma to the Lord, from the herd or from the flock.”

if any body else is WTFin, wait! the finish will culminate in an ending. haha

KYbLE: Kyle + Bible (+bile)

Let’s present this as a story:

With family lines drawn from the loins of an ancient antiquitous king, Joseph goes full blast as he holds his everything in his pants. This is because there is nothing in his pants, he pants not to get in their pants because he has no balls. But he’s got some serious balls for a different reason.

He merrily marries Mary, marring his own reputation, but saving hers. Whether by some unHoly injection or her hole on an erection, its now June, no she has not the appeal of Juno and he has no knowledge that nothing like the Palm March will come out of this kid, coming out in March.

Fuck his childhood, we wanna know someone is higher than the gov, the Man. We wanna know there is a God. And we wanna know he is the Man. And a man. So let’s here about him when he’s a man.

But first, to wet your appetite, wipe your bib, and wead the weaving tale (aka Bible) that really begins with his Biebhood as an angsty teen. But before the writing of his rites righteously riding on an ass, he’s gonna rape these asses, the kings of asses asking the King astounded at his knowledge. 18-5:3

Then there is this ditch of his young adult life. Well, it was just that then: empty. Heysuess’s perfection was an afterthought. As was his bio. Lesson? It’s not about what we do to ourselves, it’s about what we do to ourselves to help others. All ur sins buds, technically its masochism. Humanity then is masochistic. Though you may complain it’s masomystic, those singing “Oh” to Christ in Mass, are masochristic.

Carpenter catching carp. Fisher fishing fellows. Fisher price? Free, but the life of the price has only raised 4 points. An oasis in the desert he’s tempting thrice, getting chicks wet from vice, redefining the whys to being wise,  he knew revenue was for  the foo and kept his fisher price.

Turns out he’d be a sell out, or at least be sold out, for thertee (or was it her teet?) We thought it’d be a breeze, but those threee eees in between would Be ouR Z’s in “I’ll live” park as we parked it while the King had a Summit on some mount.

Knowing wood well, the virgin birthed 12 hard headed steps up to a crossroads so one road would be crossed out opening the narrow road to the cross. 1 from the 11 from the 12, the all-natural decayed log of 2. He would be wooden wood, not cornerstones like the other 11 totem poles blown over by the wind. He was chipped cedar from Lebanon in the Kings Palace, a hard headed stick with a soft spot.

He tripped the wire, was utterly changed into fire, and as the smoke rose higher and higher, on psycharelics all was revealed by his beloved squire.

i was listening to this song.. it’s by mewithoutyou.

i was listening to this song.

(its terrible) some living irony to covering good songs when you aren’t good is that you show it’s all about the people.

and that is my point. i just told you the story of Jesus Christ, but it means nothing, it was stupid. too crass to be called wordplay, more like wordplagued as if meaning is only in the words. its just the opposite of that though. if the story is in the words, and the story is the same but the words are different then whats the big?

i was listening to that song, and for some reason i heard Weiss whine, “our lord was born to a manger bed, that all whose wells run dry can drink of his supply” and i said yeaaah. then i thought of all the constructions. the after thoughts. i mention the “afterthoughts” in my stupid lil bible. i thought thats what i was after, the afterthoughts.

it’s like bible gives you all of these little puzzle pieces of jesus. we treasure the treasures that treasured those treasures. but then in 325, we boxed the puzzle to sell it in packages by fashioning pieces out of phrases from the original puzzle. it made them feel more complete as they made it more complete.

suddenly, those little treasures weren’t enough to fill them up and so we kept going and we kept fashioning phrases more fashionable than before until they turned to shirts turning out crowds in hume lake humming tunes laden with the hard heads of some souls sure their shirts hurt themselves.

i realized the story was wonderful really and very modern. jesus’ tale, so many elements that could be taken to signify the modern man. and i took some time tonight reading some verses. i really enjoyed gathering my own meaning from them.

something about children right?

WIKIPEDIA IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus

i love creation. but the best part of creation is persons creation. mewithoutyou combines personality with creation. because you should create, but still create something reflecting your personality, otherwise i b lik y u frontin?

think of a modern city compared to kingly city in which you are a demographic in a democratic society. yet the subtext of christianity is that we subdue our personality all for the king. “You’re everyone else”

but there was this personal contract of your own salvation that arrived on your terms. “You’re everyone else”

we stand for our standards, so what are our standards and to the stand the arduous task of standing to reason?  i dont seem to hold anything sacred anymore. and every day i feel like a different person. i dont look at the world and see myself in it anywhere sometimes. sometimes i am grounded, but sometimes i feel like every breath is a stroke through a sea of junk. like im having a stroke. like im the only one stuck in traffic. like im stuck. and other such contradictions.

i went and watched the sunset over the San Fernando Valley and got a $175 ticket for running a stop sign via a picture and i am looking at this in disbelief. if there is one thing in my life that i consider sacred, it is the sun. i would never disrespect the sun, never curse the heat and never plead it to come up any faster and warm my bones. because it’s the only thing i can rely on, the passing of the days.

get wrecked. (due 6/6/11 that’s 1 away from satan, but then again if you distribute, this dispute seems to beg forgiveness as you get 77)

remember that whole talk about creating and creeds?

you could derive all of christianity from these great lyrics:

Save my skin, I need a medic
Hold me down, I’m only sewn down.
Save my teeth, show me you meant it
Catch my death, I’m only sewn together.

My eyelids are heavy, and the night’s wearing on
Your story’s familiar, and your innocence is gone
We’d burn like the morning then break like your heart
Fall in love without warning just to fall back apart
All fevered and blistered, with nothing at stake
I feel the warmth of her whisper, and the cold of my mistakes
Her soul in the balance, my heart in her hands
I made her a widow, she made me a man.

problem is that no one wants to repeat all of that. christianity, the strength is numbers, though no one reads that book. i dont like the story, i just have fun with any story because of all the ASSociations i make.

i could sit around and find significance in anything all day long. i could stand too, but i’d get tired and i wont stand for that. i have standards man

and just as on corneria when you’re jumpin around and then you dodge something on that spacecraft and it takes you into outerspace.

get wrecked. enter the kingdom of heaven. ” I made her a widow, she made me a man.” there are so many connections, associations, links, toon links, zelda, ganondorf supersmashing around in the sea of the dictionary.

im just creading. closely reading the crazy eights aiding and adding up to creation created according to a creed creating their own creeds.

bahaha